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Case in point: An American banker was on his first trip overseas in Europe and he was trying desperately to set up a lunchtime meeting with an associate. Frustrated, he complained to his European contact about his busy day and the fact that he needed to hold a particular meeting on a specific day between 1 and 3 p.m.

It's no wonder that the American banker was surprised to hear the response: "In Europe, we have a life and we conduct business. We separate them. You are trying to do business during my lunch time. That's not going to happen."

Find Your Soft Side
"Location, location, location" may be the three most important things in real estate, but the three critical components of doing business successfully overseas are "respect, understanding and trust."

What? You may be thinking, "I'm not looking for a best friend. I'm trying to close a business deal." Exactly.

According to the experts, it's the softer side of relationship skills that will win the day when doing business on foreign soil. In fact, says Amper, Politziner & Mattia's Phoebe Xu, ignoring these skills and setting your sights solely on the green is a critical mistake – one that will likely lose you the sale in the longterm.

Truthfully, establishing solid, worthy business relationships is considered in most circles a carefully crafted art. In fact, Xu said, in overseas business circles, those who don't believe that "respect (for) your business or potential business partner" is the most important part of a thing one can do to establish "guãnxi" is doomed to fail.

By asking questions and really listening to the answers, you can set up a "guãnxi" and earn trust – two vital elements of any international business relationship, she explained. Xu, a native of China, was a partner with Baker Tilly China before relocating to New Jersey with her family.

Guãnxi, a central concept in Chinese society describing the basic dynamic in personalized networks of influence, is becoming widely used in the West, as well.

According to published definitions, the concept is "a measure which reflects the depth of feeling within an interpersonal relationship" and is expanded to include other cultural concepts such as "rénqíng," the moral obligation to maintain the relationship in a certain fashion.

Interestingly enough, the relationships formed by guãnxi are personal and not transferable. Therefore, as in the cultural collateral earned by honest-to-goodness handshaking and networking in the Western business world, guãnxi is a valuable and critical component to successful business interaction wherever you go. It may even be the one element of business in this ever-changing, competitive global marketplace where technology doesn't give you the upper-hand.

Due Diligence Is Key
Leonardo Zangani, president and founder of Zangani Investor Community, advised that "before you go to any other country to do any kind of business you have to study their customs and traditions. These particulars are very important and often very critical."

Zangani, who related the story about the American banker, said the lessons learned from his years in international business have stayed with him. "There are times to work and times to play and you do not mix the two — especially if you (have to) depend on other peoples' judgment and decisions and are not in the controlling position."

Speaking of judgment, it's widely known that Americans are, well, not necessarily revered in France. Sure, that's quite a blanket statement. But ask around. Most people would suggest that Americans are considered "bossy, inconsiderate, overbearing..." by the French. Hey, we're the "ugly Americans," right?

Zangani said that is because, at the very basic level, some people – not necessarily only Americans — tend to assume that everyone around the world "must think and act as they do."

"Of course, that's absolutely not true," he said. "You have to understand their customs and traditions and you have to be careful how you present yourself and dress, talk and act. These are very important factors in certain cultures, even if we (in America) do not think so."

A Word, or Two, on India…
While Asia and Europe offer significant cultural differences between countries and cultures, India presents its own set of challenges. Without a doubt, this country rich in human capital, technology and business sense is also complex. Regionalism, religion, language and caste are all factors that need to be taken into account when doing business in India.

And, like other areas of the world, behavior, etiquette and approach must be considered depending on whom you are addressing and even the situation during which the person is being addressed. The challenge of determining which of one's "softer skills" to use is even further exacerbated by the fact that different "states" in India have different languages. While the Central Government recognizes Hindi as the official language of India, it's widely known that English is the language of "international commerce."

Additionally, perhaps the issue of hierarchy – peoples' roles, status and social order – come into play more in India than elsewhere in the world. There is a person with a particular role for every job that needs to be done. Accordingly, if you have a task that needs completing and the right person for the job isn't available, the job isn't going to get done. The "wrong" person simply will not do it.

For example, within a particular company, there are people assigned to the position of "peon." If you need a chair moved, call the peon. If the peon isn't available, don't count on the chair being moved anytime soon. No one other than the peon will likely move the furniture.

So, respecting people is key throughout the world. Establishing the appropriate relationship is vital to international understanding. But, when looking to do business with a firm in India, you must learn to respect the additional layer of custom – status.

Remember What Your Mother Taught You… Be Nice
Even within the United States, there are various business styles. A city slicker from New York isn't going to get too far with a "just the facts, ma'm" approach in the Deep South, for example.

It's the same around the world. Some people base their decisions on facts and figures. More commonly, however, in foreign business markets people rely on more than statistics, empirical data and exciting PowerPoint presentations. They use intuition, feeling and faith to guide them. It's critical to exercise patience, show good character and never exhibit frustration or anger. And, never, ever, use high pressure tactics. Confrontation will get you a one-way ticket out of the meeting.

Vivian Liu, president and chief executive officer of East Windsor-based pharmaceutical company NexMed, recalls a particular situation that underscores that sentiment.

"I've seen an American businessman thinking a deal was done because he hadn't heard 'no,'" she recalled. "That is not the Asian way, to give a firm no and cause the other party to lose face or to come across as confrontational. You just cannot assume that everyone else thinks the way you do and hence reaches the same conclusion that you would."

A Chinese American, Liu says her own background has served her well in building business relationships across different cultures. NexMed has had long-standing business relationships in Europe and Asia, owned an operation in China and has had several development contracts with Japanese pharmaceutical companies. Additionally, she worked for a group of French Canadians for about 10 years.

She said she believes that being open-minded to the concept that not everyone around the world conducts business in the same fashion is key to creating successful international relationships.

That being said, it seems natural to introduce your own cultural background into a business transaction. And, the idea of this is not just an American concept, Liu said. However, clashing cultural backgrounds don't make for good business.

Think about it like this, said Liu: "An Asian business person may prefer the softer approach like Tai Chi while an American business person's boxing approach is clear, well-defined punches. "I've advised Chinese business people to be more direct with their issues and concerns and not causing their American counterparts to feel like they're going around and around without reaching a conclusion."

The bottom line, Liu said, is that in business it is always a good idea to approach people on foreign playing fields using their rules. "It's always smart to make friends," she advised. "The Chinese have a saying, "Use a longer line and hook a bigger fish."

Translation?

Even if a transaction can't be consummated now, building a connection (guãnxi) will lead to other opportunities in the future.